What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
