I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
