Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
