why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
