Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
