i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
