OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
