i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
