she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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