Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm having to shit out rocks
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
