HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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