well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
