We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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