Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
