Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
bring money and cleavage
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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