New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
