Soap is not a condiment
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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