I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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