i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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