Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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