There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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