if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
