PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
