pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I love having hate sex.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
