I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
