They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
