I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
