also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
