I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
