Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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