So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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