I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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