How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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