dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
