Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
