Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's rum buckets o'clock
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
