ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
