i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
