He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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