I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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