Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
