if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I puked a lego.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
