we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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