I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
someone owes me an orgasm
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
