You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
did you just send me my own nude
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
