Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
