why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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