yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
