How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
