did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
