i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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