now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
