Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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