they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
