tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's never too late to be topless.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
