Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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